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I was enticed into Islam by HALAL

I was enticed into Islam by HALAL
Sharif Abu Laith

This is exactly what the Daily Mail and The Sun have been warning about….

 

A tale about one mans obsession with halal.

 

“They would say ‘you are what you eat’ and I thought that was just a thoughtful statement not to be taken literally until I came across halal meat.

 

I was only a teenager at the time unaware of the what lurked in supermarkets and fast food outlets. My mum used to make the food going to the local tescos for a nice roast lamb joint on Sundays after church (which we didn’t actually go to). New Zealand lamb was stamped on the packaging supposedly the highest quality lamb meat fed on the green grass of Middle earth. On some days we’d have a treat and go out to pizza express, I’d have my favourite, the Hawaiian special (chicken and pineapple). On week days coming home from school I sometimes popped into the local subway for a BLT (I didn’t realise it was turkey bacon!!!) Oh how I was so naïve.

 

Looking back now I knew something was changing in me. Initially I put it down to puberty but the stubble that started to grow on my face should have been a clear sign. The beard kept growing I had to shave it off everyday!!! I also began wanting more and more meat, that New Zealand lamb was so succulent I just couldn’t stop myself. It was like being addicted to drugs, only now I realise I was becoming an addict to halal.

 

I began feeling the need to associate with a darker group of individuals (only to later realise that those people come in all colours!!!). They began taking me to strange locations to eat what I thought was wholesome American style food “Kansas fried chicken” “Southern fried chicken” “dixy chicken”. But none of them were run by Americans and they were all halal (some only just). Oh how I was deceived.

 

It was now too late, I began to experiment further with this new exotic halal meat; kebabs, donners, shawarmas, burgers and even currys (I didn’t know curry was from them and it was always halal!!!) I could no longer turn back from halal it gripped me like no other and began controlling my life. No longer was I just satisfied with halal meat, everything had to become halal, halal dress, halal earnings, halal transactions, halal relationships!!! My girlfriend became halal meat for me as I had to marry her!!!

 

It was like living in a ‘halal’ prison I began to see my whole world within halal and not halal (haram). I was so consumed that I could only do that which was halal. I had consumed halal and now I was living a halal lifestyle, I had become halal, I have become what I ate!

 

You may feel sorry for me but truth be told I have come to live and love the halal, I stopped shaving so I now have a halal beard (but weirdly began shaving other areas) and now feel comfortable with it. My family have now begun to understand this addiction to halal (well they would as they too had unknowingly ate halal) and some too have taken on the halal lifestyle. My now halal wife has a halal hijab covering her head and we live in our halal home that we obtained from a halal mortgage (although we were dubious about the non halal bank it came from).

 

Yes I was seduced into what I later came to know as Islam through eating halal but now I’ve realised halal is the way forward. I even saw David Cameron eat at a halal chicken shop, maybe he might be smitten with the halal and create a fully halal society? And yes once or twice I’ve offered a snickers chocolate bar to my co-workers without them knowing it was halal. Does this make me a bad person? No it just makes me halal.”

 

Note: all events are fictionalised for dramatic and satirical purposes.

 

By Sharif Abu Laith

 

Source: Sharif Abu Laith – I Was Seduced Into Islam by HALAL.

 

The views expressed in this article do not necessarily represent that of the Siyasah Press editorial board.

 

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